Ellery wants to die. Nothing is going right. Her younger sister is dead, and her family is in a shambles. But on the day that she tries to end it all, even the gun won't work. When she tries to return it, she's intercepted by a security guard who also happens to be a boy in one of her classes, Colter Sawyer. Colter recognizes Ellery's desperation and begins working hard to earn her trust. Why does this cute boy care about my worthless life?, Ellery wonders. But as the story unfolds, it becomes clear that Colter has very good reasons for his vigilance, deep, personal reasons. And whether Ellery likes it or not, he won't let go.
About the Author
Erica M. Chapman writes dark, emotional YA novels with a burst of humor, and lighter contemporaries with smart-ass protagonists. Her debut novel, Teach Me to Forget is out now! She’s a member of SCBWI & Sweet16s, and a lifetime Lions and Michigan football fan who loves alternative music. She loves to tweet and watch various CW & Freeform shows while typing her next story on a MacBook in a Detroit Lions Snuggie. Find her on Twitter @EricaMChapman.
"Ellery finds life after the death of her little sister, Tate, unbearable. Chapman has crafted a hauntingly beautiful story with richly developed characters. A moving tale to recommend, especially to readers who loved Jennifer Niven's All the Bright Places." --School Library Journal
"High school junior Ellery Stevens has decided to end her life. She cannot stop blaming herself for the freak driving accident in which her beloved younger sister was killed. Ellery's voice is engaging and authentic, and her edgy black humor comes into play.... Sadness gives way to redemption and an unforced hope in this thoughtful read." --Kirkus Reviews
"A beautifully crafted, dark, and heartbreaking look at depression and suicide. Ellery's story is needed and necessary; Chapman is a writer to watch" --Kathleen Glasgow, New York Times bestselling author of Girl in Pieces
"In this stunningly brave and necessary debut, Erica M. Chapman takes us on a journey to the edge and back--exploring grief, depression, and suicide with candor, insight, and above all, hope." --Amber Smith, New York Times bestselling author of The Way I Used to Be
As seen in Teen Vogue
“Chapman has brilliantly written from a perspective of authenticity that produces a genuinely wrenching story. Ellery is heartbreakingly realistic, and readers will find themselves lost in her turmoil. Fans of Laurie Halse Anderson and Jennifer Brown will clamor for this debut novel from an author whose dark and emotional story will resonate with teen readers.” — VOYA Magazine
“Chapman’s vivid story-telling made these characters come to life in my imagination … .My heart ached for Ellery and the deep, dark depression that overwhelmed her. While the book is incredibly heart-wrenching, there is a glimmer of hope throughout. THIS BOOK IS A MUST-READ!” — Midwest Ladies Who Lit
“I so badly wanted to take away Ellery’s pain, to hug her until things got better. Ellery just has so much to offer the world, and I would love to be there when she realizes it. Ellery—even while making her new plans and being set in her wish to carry them out—starts finding a piece of life to subconsciously hold on to. There’s hope in her situation, even when she feels like all is lost.” — Forever Young Adult
“Thoughtful, tough, and darkly funny novel.” — Bustle.com
“Will leave readers thinking about the characters’ stories long after the last page. Erica M. Chapman manages to tackle a very difficult topic in this novel, but does so tactfully and inserts bits of humor that help to lighten the mood. A must-read novel from debut author Erica M. Chapman that will have readers cherishing the lives of the people they love just a little bit more.” — Teenreads
“Writing about suicide and mental health isn’t easy, but Erica M. Chapman’s debut embraces the challenge. An emotional read, this book is perfect for fans of My Heart and Other Black Holes by Jasmine Warga and Falling Into Place by Amy Zhang.” — Paste Magazine